Dating for Beginners: 7 tips to start!

Updated: Jan 22, 2020

This world is full of complications and emotions. We can wake up stressed and go to sleep anxious. It is amazing at how much duty and pressure we put on ourselves over some of the most simplistic things. Let’s not add a break-up to the mix, then a long time of being single -humans can become so obsessed with our flaws and lose sight at some of the things that make us great. When I went to file for a divorce, it was one of the very few things in my life that made me feel insecure. It was as if the title of no longer being married seemed as if it was going to leave a stain on my credit score or something. I had kids and felt like I was “damaged goods”. I had to think long and hard about what the term "damaged goods" was, and I realized that I didn’t even know what the fuck "damaged goods" even meant. In fact, "damaged goods" wasn’t even a real thing. I had to take an honest look around, and I was honestly, a great person. It is funny how people can influence your thinking, by how they project what they themselves have gone through or what they think they would feel if they were to go through the same thing.


It took me two years of going back and forth with myself about what it is that I wanted to do with my life. I started searching for my identity that I was lost after my marriage. After praying and soul-searching, I said I wanted to date myself for a while. I became more comfortable with who I was as a woman, and I made the conscious decision, that I needed to figure out what it was that I liked about men and what I didn’t like about them. What better way to do that than to date? So, that is exactly what I did.


I found that dating gets a bad reputation, but it's only because people forget to appreciate the experience.I have met some very interesting people along the way, and I wanted to provide some small little tips to make dating more fun.


1. LEAVE OUT THE EXPECTATIONS

When you are just meeting someone new, let them be themselves. When you are used to your own “type” you will think that a new person you just met, is supposed to look, smell or be a certain way that you have made up in your own mind, and you’ll miss the opportunity to enjoy what is in front of you. Yes, be clear on your must-haves in a man or woman, and deal-breakers- but have an open mind along the way.


2. IN ALL THINGS- HAVE FUN.

Cut out the idea of going out to DATE solely to get married. Listen, on the first two dates, I hate to break it to you- you will not be able to go to the altar. It is entirely too much pressure on you, to be perfect. Let your hair down, keep