When I think about how out of control my emotions were, when it came to them being pulled in so many directions in my personal life, I used to get so frustrated. I learned very quickly, that my friends or family members couldn’t depend on me, if I was not in my best shape mentally and emotionally. I had to learn that I am a go-to person, at home and at work. In knowing that, this was a part of my purpose, I had to learn how to set clear boundaries with people so that I could get my adult life in order. For example, everyone in my family knows that Saturday’s are “my day”. I will not do anything or go anywhere, unless it is on my terms. My children know that, there will be no full breakfast- grab a box of cereal and I will see you guys at 11:00 A.M. when I get up. I know what you are thinking- but keep it to yourself 😊 HaHa… My life is tailor-made for me.
Personal boundaries aside, there is a time and place that boundaries are needed in our professional lives as well. We think that because we get paid a check to survive or provide for ourselves or our families, that we aren’t allowed to have boundaries. I am here to tell you that, this is not true.
We find in so many research studies that burn-out and disengagement is real. Some of which can be caused by many different reasons, however, some issues can be resolved by boundaries! In all positions I have ever worked, there have been some people and things that I just didn’t like. Depending on the nature of your position, stress can be a real thing for you. Being overwhelmed at your workload can happen, and let’s be honest- disliking co-worker- well, that is another discussion for another day. There are things may be out of your control but managing your expectations and establishing a boundary at work in a professional way, can help you out a lot.
Here are my top 4 tips on building boundaries and let me know your thoughts.
1) Speak Life into Your Day! One of the first things that you should do when you wake up, is tell yourself “My mental health is important, and my sanity is worth protecting, so I will not allow anything to control that”. Carry a notebook with you throughout your day, and write positive quotes, and affirmations as you transition from one meeting or event to the next. Listening to positive and motivational videos or songs, believe it or not, can carry you throughout your day. Make that a Priority, when your peace is at risk.
2) Don’t bring work home. One of the funniest but most transparent things that my grandma told me growing up in my professional career- especially when I was coming in the house grumpy and frustrated. She would stop me and say “Hey, any of them folks or things that made you made at work, sleeping with you tonight, because if so, you need to find a new place to stay if you are actin’ like that?” I would look at her in a puzzled way and say “no, ma.”. She would respond “well, leave whatever in the hell got you all worked up at work.” Now she has a very no non-sense and non-traditional approach, so you must read between the lines. My interpretation for you is, all work issues and work stress must stay there. You can only control your reactions, and your work ethic, and you can only try again tomorrow. The eight hours or more that you spent at work, is time that you can’t get back or go back to. Do better tomorrow.
3) Activate the thinker in you. Don’t allow your emotions to control you. You must learn to discipline your emotions, so that they don’t contain you. When you have an “upset” from a bad meeting, or something didn’t go your way- don’t sulk into making that an entire day event. Ask yourself, are you having a bad day, or did you have a 30-minute experience that you are allowing to consume your day.
4) Confrontation isn’t always a bad thing. If there are things that unnerve you at work, you should make a conscious decision to tactfully address things that are unacceptable. Speaking up for yourself allows you to create a boundary, which helps teach people how to treat you. I am of course, not saying go full on Kanye West in the middle of a company-wide meeting. I am simply saying take a moment to process how you feel, write it out, and then think about how you can alleviate the issue and timing is everything.
I hope that these tips are helpful! If you would like to learn more, check out my website and subscribe at www.rochellemthompson.com .