I am back with a long overdue blog post, but I hope this encourages and helps someone who needs it! Today, I didn’t want to speak solely to a specific mental health or relationship topic. I wanted to speak on what led to my recent Online Entrepreneur Magazine interview features, and the acceptance of my most recent Psychology award: Pursuing Your Purpose.
The thought of running with a dream or idea can feel very scary. I can't stress how very important it is to take some time to identify where that fear is coming from. For me, I find that the fear that we internalize stems from the stories that we are told by other people about ourselves or worst- when they tell us how things worked out for them. They say things like “I used to think I could do that too”, or a cynical “that sounds good”, or even a flat-out “you can’t do that, it just won’t work”. What makes this create the most fear for us is that we often hear these stories from the people who were in our lives that were meant to make us feel safe. These narratives come from people who we think are supposed to protect, love, and support us. It'll end up being our closest friends, parents, family members, or "heroes" who will project their limits and or failures into our dreams and lives.
If you aren't familiar with what projection is, I want you to take this away today. Projection is solely a type of defense mechanism where someone would rather avoid acknowledging their own incapabilities, insecurities, negative traits and infer them onto another person.
The best piece of advice for you here be sure that you have one sound mindful listener and advisor in your circle. This is a person that you trust, and can help you calm your fears; but doesn’t necessarily tell you what to do. They help to keep things in perspective. All in all be mindful of the narratives that you internalize when you are birthing your dreams and ideas.
The second thing I want to share is that, PURPOSE is not SYNONYMOUS with QUANTITY.
I define purpose in which you connect the desires of your heart, to the instinct of your spirit and the rhythm of your mind. When you have these things in sync, it creates a range of motion that we like to call energy or gifting and we give that to the world. We then see that it can help heal, entertain, support, or give value in some way, and essentially we live fulfilled lives because of it. From there, with this repetitive formula of responsibility, consistency, discipline, and focus, you see the quantity of people tap into your purpose.
Initially, if we get too focused on the purpose being tied to a quantity- meaning that I need to have this big amount of money first before I can do it, or I need this number of customers guaranteed before I get the product- then it can create a huge sense of overwhelm and self-doubt. Then you can see yourself shutting down all operations before they have even started. Don’t get me wrong, knowing up front doesn’t always hurt. I am only saying I want people to be practical and realistic with this advice. Make a plan that works for you and your business model. Overall, my point is that don’t let that be the driving factor to whether or not you pursue your purpose.
The other side to it is, sometimes we worry that people may not buy our product or service. Even if one person shows interest, if only one person shows up, if only one person purchases it, if only one person reads it, then you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do. Remember, it won’t always make sense, or feel good – it will even be uncomfortable, but it just starts with one person at a time.
Lastly, Take yourself seriously my love!
I want to challenge you to correct yourself every time you downplay anything that you do. I want you to resist the urge to say “little” in front of your accomplishment. Don’t call that thing a “lil” book, “lil” business, “lil” article. You are no rapper, we do not need anymore “lil” anything!
You are not writing a “lil” book, you are an AUTHOR. You didn’t get another “lil” contract, you were AWARDED TO CONSULT on another CONTRACT. You don’t have a “lil” business you can be a CEO of a SMALL MINORITY OWNED BUSINESS.
Remember, an architect has to see the vision of the home before it is even built. Have faith in your vision, you are the blueprint. It won’t always be easy, and it will be hard to build, but when you show up, do the work every day, and don’t quit- it’s your house!
Be in love with you today! <3
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