Updated: Aug 25, 2020
2019 was the year of failed attempts for dating for a lot of my friends, and it was a truly enlightening experience for me, because I had just made the decision to start to try and date. The whole idea of dating after being single for two years made me cringe. I honestly wanted no parts of it, but it was almost like the inevitable for me. I had felt that I had become too content with being alone, and I don’t know that as a person that helps couples, that was a good look.
The year was full of twists and turns, and it was great. For women, I want them to know that there are really good men out here and for men, there are really good women out here. The few dates that I did go on, I got to see how special people are in their own little way. The one thing that can be disappointing about dating, is when you meet the right man, but in the wrong mindset. I call him, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. This guy is very normal, even financially stable, and attractive, but when you start to uncover his layers, you can get set-up in being stuck loving on someone, that isn’t capable of loving on you. Thankfully, there are a few signs to dating this kind of man, for those that always end up getting caught in love, and it’s too late to get out.
1. Mr. Labels Aren’t Important
A person who has no rules is typically one that is not going to be emotionally available to you. If he has a problem with saying that you guys are “dating”, or the mere struggle in outlining what a future commitment can look like while you guys are having sex and or spending time together. That man is not available emotionally for you. If you can be good enough for him to have physical relations with every night, but he can’t seem to tell you where you fit in his future, do a magic trick and make yourself disappear. Men, especially men, who tell you that they are not good with relationships, and or defining things- believe them. Accept their negative pronouncements and accept their truth.
2. Mr. Overly Charming
This guy is generally someone who you can really catch a vibe with because they always know the right things to say. However, while they know the right things to say -their actions are so inconsistent with that. He will show up, be a gentleman, and not even know you- but this could be a well-rehearsed act. He is a guy that has had enough women in his lifetime, to know how and what to say to them. He is sooo charming that you don’t even remember how inconsistent he’s been. He does this to keep the door open long enough to come in and out as he so pleases.
3. Mr. Brokenhearted, but Fuck everyone I am good.
This guy probably swears up and down that he is okay and wants a relationship. A lot of that may very well be true, but any chance he can get to talk about what his last girl or what previous girls he dealt with did to him, he will bring it up. He may always end that discussion with an “it’s all good, I am okay though”; when really – he isn’t good, and he isn’t okay. You will find yourself hearing about all of the nice things th